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birds, or the place where we all find time to die in the moonlight

by ezra triste

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1.
we fight ourselves we lose when we win your problems pale in comparison to what i'm dragging around time & time again i ditch my friends they know what i'm going through i wish that i knew too there are buzzards overhead self-important shell of someone else designs my hell what if i don't want to get well?
2.
nevering 02:14
i wear your clothes it doesn't bring you back i drive your car it doesn't bring you back i try to look all right now but i could never act i talk to you but you never talk back i quit my job it didn't bring me back stopped smoking too but i just bought a pack i'd like to die to see if it's like that because not knowing where you are makes me sad
3.
prom night 02:40
i have birthday cards from relatives who are dead now floating somewhere with one another i have pictures with my ex-girlfriend i don't know why i keep them if i don't love her but i put them all in a shoebox under my bed at night sometimes i dream i open it i have check stubs from last summer's job & i still want to call my boss & start screaming i have that shirt you bought for me i only wear it when i'm lonely & i'm lonely when i breathe & i'm still breathing now it's prom night again like it was when we went two years ago i want to smile & walk you in & take your hands & we can dance until it snows i can tell you how it's been: it's been so hard i lost my mind, i lost my soul i'm sorry for my sins: i was a kid i never meant to act so old
4.
there, there: we're alive now yet "but i don't want it," she says i want this thing out of my chest i'll leave it on the sidewalk i'll crawl till i can't i'll crawl till my knees are bloody red leave the vultures the rest but it's only my skin & my bones & regrets (i gave you the best) let's leave this liar's bed "but i don't want to," i said let's rip this thing out of my chest (and i hardly knew it) i've been waiting to feel got a pocket full of some pills maybe there's something inside to help me die die die die
5.
kayla 03:20
everyone has problems & they're all worse than mine but sometimes i hurt so bad i hurt so bad sometimes my clothes are haunted by my rattling bones i feel like smoke through a keyhole formless & alone kiss me kayla kill me closer kiss me kayla & wait for the rest of me to show up i killed a bird today then i pulled over & cried we're too immune to circumstance we're too afraid to die i don't think i'll shave because i'm not leaving the house they hid my razors anyway but i could figure something out kiss me kayla kill me closer kiss me kayla & wait for the rest of me to show up

credits

released July 25, 2014

instruments, voice, recording/production by joplin rice

all songs written by joplin rice

recorded may 2014

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ezra triste

ezra triste writes and records his songs in an attempt to make sense out of all things and has yet to make any real progress. ezra triste is also joplin rice.

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